Warrior, Magician, Lover, King by Rod Boothroyd

Author:Rod Boothroyd
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
ISBN: 9781722820893
Publisher: Sovereign Books Ltd
Published: 2018-10-07T04:00:00+00:00

The Inflated Shadow: The Addict, The Needy One

Because it is so primal and powerful, when lover energy goes into shadow it can be very destructive.

Inflated, shadow lover energy generates many types of addictions. These addictions include drugs, porn, alcohol, sex, food, emotional neediness and dependency – all intense emotional experiences for the wounded part of a man. These experiences can be a way of “feeling alive”, of soothing the pain of the Lover wound, or a route to numbing the pain of the loss which lies at the core of that wound.

A man in the grip of his addicted Lover may become lost in the overwhelming experience of sensations, impressions and information coming at him from the outside world.

Anything that hints at his wound can trigger an emotional reaction which absorbs him completely. He can get drawn into a reaction to almost any event in his life. An angry word from a lover can send him into despair. A seductive look from a woman he happens to chance across in a bar can seem like salvation. The scent or beauty of a flower can overwhelm him. Hearing a chance word or a line of a song evocative of something he lost (or never had) may plunge him into a waterfall of tears.

This loss of awareness about the limits of his own emotionality, this loss of boundaries, is very clear in the way that the inflated Lover craves the next high, the next drink, the next cigarette, the next orgasm. These are the things which the addict loves, oblivious of balance, oblivious of his own needs, and oblivious of his own power to extract himself from this situation.

Even men who constantly return to situations which are harmful – for example, a relationship which oscillates between harmony and violence – are displaying some sort of addiction to this experience. The emotionality of such experiences seems to somehow fulfil their expectations of life, or perhaps gives them a sense of being alive.

People in the grip of addiction are unable to escape the agony and ecstasy of the circular path between addiction and release. They cannot extract themselves from the Lover complex. The Sovereign is off-line, the Warrior has gone to sleep, and the Magician has lost his power to reason with them.

At its heart this is all about the experience of sensuality, the desire to experience the next amazing high at the expense of anything in the longer term.

This is not the mania of the grandiosity and sense of unlimited power of the inflated Sovereign. The inflated Lover is much more about something that was lost or something that never was, and the resulting need, narcissism and confusion.

The root of that narcissism is a search for anything that will ease the pain of the unfelt and unexpressed grief that eats away at a man’s soul. The paradox here is that grieving, allowing the tears to fall, is not painful; quite the opposite – it is relieving, in fact. In fact, as far as

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